WEEK 27 TRIM SENTENCE ENDINGS FOR CLOSING EMPHASIS

Give your writing some OOMPH!
by Valerie Ipson



                                            


We probably take periods for granted, but they are important. They create pauses. Use them wisely to end your sentence with some OOMPH!

Let's zoom straight to Stephen Wilber's analogy on flying an airplane: "As you take off, you should be concentrating on getting off the ground. Once aloft, you should be thinking about where to land." (MTC, p 147)

He's talking about sentence construction and the need to trim wordiness "so that the emphasis falls where it does the most good." Just like with airplanes, it matters where a sentence lands. In most cases it should end with the most important word or thought to place the focus right where you want it to be.

Chapter 27 gives some great examples of how to trim sentence endings, you should totally check it out. Here's an obvious one for effect: "So, don't let your sentences ramble on and on past the point where they really should stop, if you catch my drift." (MTC, p 147) Can you reduce this sentence to 6 words?

So, don't let your sentences, and blog posts, ramble. That means my work here is done!

But first a hint: When your editor says trim a thousand bajillion words from your manuscript, sentence endings are a great place to look.

Week 23 Use Semicolons to Both Separate and Connect

Week 23 Use Semicolons to Both Separate and Connect

by Peggy Urry

                                                                       Clunky vs Subtle

Semicolons also come in these two varieties. The clunky version is used in vertical lists.

     Use semicolons to:
          1. Link two independent clauses or complete sentences;
          2. Link two independent clauses when the second clause is introduced
              by an adverb such as however or therefore;
          3. Add clarity to a series when the items are long or have internal commas.1

The subtle variety is a mark of distinction, a pause that is shorter than a period but longer than a comma. "Even as they separate, they imply a connection, as in 'Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country'."2

Other examples of subtle semicolons:

Understanding a concept is one thing; applying it is another.
Juan was two hours late; Arriola was getting worried.
She told us to take her advice or find a new attorney; we found a new attorney.3

Play around with those sentences and see how punctuation changes the feel and the flow.

Points to remember: Colons introduce; semicolons separate. Semicolons need independent clauses or complete sentences on either side (unless you're talking the clunky list variety).

In which sentences are semicolons used incorrectly?
1. Although it's 2:00 a.m.; I think I'll keep writing.
2. It's gorgeous outside--ten degrees with fresh snow; I think I'll go for a ski.
3. I heated the water in my coffee mug; until it boiled.
4. I flung the boiling water into the subzero air; an arc of mist disappeared before it hit the ground.

Did you pick 1 and 3? Then you are correct.4

There are many more examples in Mastering the Craft by Stephen Wilbers.

If you want more on semicolons, check our Grammarbook or UWM's Writer's Handbook.

1. Mastering the Craft of Writing, Wilbers, pg 127
2. Mastering the Craft of Writing, Wilbers, pg 127
3. Mastering the Craft of Writing, Wilbers, pg 127

4. Mastering the Craft of Writing, Wilbers, pg 128

Week 21 Use Dashes For Dashing Effect

The Dash is Brash by Valerie Ipson

It's only May, but the only dash-- references I can come up with are Christmas-related...Now Dasher! Now Dancer!..." or "Dashing through the snow..."

I think that means we need to jump right into the lesson.

I love WEEK 21! Maybe because I love dashes. (Have you read IDEAL HIGH? Yep! Full of dashes.)

Dashes were mentioned last week in the lesson on punctuation: "Use dashes to mark abrupt changes in thought or the flow of a sentence," then Stephen Wilbers gives them an entire lesson of their own. He begins with a simple definition as found in Strunk & White's Elements of Style: "A dash is a mark of separation stronger than a comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parenthesis."

I just want to focus on the first part. Commas do their thing by causing a slight hesitation, but a dash? It makes you take some notice.

EXAMPLE: Authors write for the time in which they live, and for the ages. Exchange the comma for a dash and see if it changes the sentence for you: Authors write for the time in which they live--and for the ages. It adds just a nice amount of emphasis, doesn't it?

Check your writing to see if you are using dashes correctly--to mark abrupt changes in thought or for added emphasis.

[Apologies! Apparently, I don't know how to make an em dash in Blogger. :/]

Week 20 Punctuate May 18, 2015

Week 20

Punctuate for Emphasis
by Peggy Urry

If any of you have been around teenagers for any length of time, you know all about emphasis: thinly disguised as drama.

In writing we can use punctuation to emphasize. As young writers, we may become enthusiastic about the mighty exclamation mark and the attention it draws to our point. However, we learn that the exclamation is best used sparingly. But having a few good punctuation marks in your arsenal broadens your ability to add emphasis without an exclamation.

Let's take periods, dashes, ellipses, and colons and look at how they enable us to add emphasis to our writing.

The period (British call it a full stop) is sometimes overlooked, but consider how a fragment with a period adds emphasis: "You need to quit procrastinating, so sit down and write your first draft. Now." Or create a rhythm in a series of short sentences: "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."1

Wilbers suggests the following:

Use dashes to mark abrupt changes in thought or the flow of a sentence.

Use ellipses not only to mark text omitted in a direct quote, but also to indicate a trailing off of thought or a troubled pause.

Use a colon to introduce something that follows (as I have done with this list).


Here are some examples from The Archer's Hollow:

"Trolls. Very. Nasty. Trolls," he said fiercely.

They would then be the ones to look down their noses with disdain at the previous court and its servants--if any were left.

"When they could catch me...but they rarely did."


Replace a punctuation mark in the following sentences with a period, a dash, and a colon, but not in that order.

   a. This is the difference between scenery and place. Scenery is something you have merely looked at; place is something you have experienced.

   b. Grammar is a piano I play by ear, and all I know about grammar is its power.

   c. My thoughts are like waffles. The first few don't look so good.2


1 Mastering the Craft of Writing, Wilbers, pg 108

2 Mastering the Craft of Writing, Wilbers, pg 110-111

TAMARA: This is a good breakdown of when to use periods, dashes, ellipses, etc. I am wondering though, Peggy, your example of a fragment with a period seems to be a pointed directive for me! Yes, I do need to quit procrastinating and write my rough draft. Now.  

VALERIE: Commas weren't mentioned which scares me a little. Does that mean I have to discuss them in next week's lesson? 

:(! Does the exclamation point apply here? Yes. It. Does. 

*pauses to go look* 

Whew. The next lesson is on dashes. That's a good one for me because I tend to go a little dash-happy when I write.