WEEK 47: AVOID VOGUE WORDS AND CLICHES

by Valerie Ipson

By Week 47 we have learned a variety of techniques that can make our words dance and sing on the page. Tired, oft-used cliches, though, have the opposite effect. They can bore the reader, or show our laziness as a writer. 

"According to Donald Hall, relying on the easy choices, on trendy words and cliches, causes us to end our search for more precise language..."1 

Stephen Wilbers says, "The first time it rained cats and dogs was brilliant, now it's a cliche."2

It's not that we have to avoid all cliches. They can be useful because their very commonality means they're easily understood. But a well-crafted phrase, even an old cliche twisted into something new, freshens our writing and delights the reader.  

Like this one: An apple a day still can't beat pizza.

I think we all understand that.


1 Mastering the Craft, p 261
2 Mastering the Craft, p 264

WEEK 41: CROSS THINGS UP WITH ANTIMETABOLE AND CHIASMUS

Improve Your Writing, You Will 

by Valerie Ipson

If you thought your high school English teacher taught you everything you need to know about good writing, think again. Have you considered employing the use of antimetabole, chiasmus, anaphora, epistrophe, anadiplosis, and isocolon? 

Apparently these are real things...called tropes and schemes. They're techniques used in writing to create a particular cadence or rhythm. (The names are Greek.)

Some definitions: "Departures from literal meaning such as metaphor and simile are called tropes." (Who knew?) "Departures from normal word order are called schemes."1

We've all imitated Yoda's speech pattern a time or two. He employed a "scheme of inversion." 

There are also schemes of repetition and two of these are discussed in this week's lesson. I've actually heard of the second one, chiasmus: "the repetition of grammatical structure without repetition of the same words or phrases, as in 'It's hard to make time, but to waste it is easy.'"2 

I've seen poems that are written in this form, and I know there are articles written about how chiasmus is used in the Bible, and how the Book of Mormon is one big chiasmus. Another example of a line of chiasmus: "What is stolen without remorse, with guilt must be repaid."3

Now what in the world is ANTIMETABOLE? It's similar...it's the repetition of words in reverse order. Example: "Everyone who loves his country is a patriot, but not every patriot loves his country."4

There you can see repeated words on each side of the comma.

1 Wilbers, Stephen, Mastering the Craft of Writing, pg 228

2 Wilbers, Stephen, Mastering the Craft of Writing, pg 228

3 Wilbers, Stephen, Mastering the Craft of Writing, pg 229

4 Wilbers, Stephen, Mastering the Craft of Writing, pg 228

Week 38 Conclude your Paragraphs with a Click

All About the Rhythm!
by Valerie Ipson

"Take special care with the last sentence of each paragraph," William Zinser advises in On Writing Well. "It is the crucial springboard to the next paragraph ... Make the reader smile and you've got him for at least one paragraph more"...as quoted in Wilbers Mastering the Craft.

So just as we've practiced ending a sentence with a bit of a punch, we can, and should, do the same with our paragraphs.

Wilbers teaches that this technique is more than paragraph structure, more than figuring out beats, and more than putting your best line at the end. It involves RHYTHM. 

Your homework, should you choose to accept it, is to check out chapter 38 and read the examples included. Read the concluding sentences of each paragraph by Eudora Welty, Kevin Kling, and Stephen King out loud and listen to the rhythm of the lines leading up to the pause. See how the concluding sentences create an impact.

WeeK 35 Use Paragraphs To Frame Your Thought and Set Your Pace

Point & Shoot
by Valerie Ipson

You may have noticed that the 52 weeks of lessons found in Mastering the Craft began with the basics...first, choosing your words wisely, and then on to constructing powerful sentences. Now we're experts (right?) so we're ready to tackle the almighty PARAGRAPH.

Wilbers compares it to taking a picture. We "decide what to place inside the frame and what to leave out" MTC, 194. In putting together a paragraph, it's the same...you choose the words and sentences and where to place them.

Our manuscripts are not emails where we might wander from thought to thought randomly. Instead, we use paragraphs crafted with a purpose. In fiction, they introduce and develop a thought, but also "mark shifts in scene and dialogue" MTC, 194. They compel a reader from thought to thought at a pace we as the author decides. Longer paragraphs slow the pace, while the short, choppy paragraph steps it up.

Often we take a photo that has too much sky or too much going on in the background and we have to crop it. Cropping is a great tool for writers, too. Give readers some white space around your paragraphs!

WEEK 27 TRIM SENTENCE ENDINGS FOR CLOSING EMPHASIS

Give your writing some OOMPH!
by Valerie Ipson



                                            


We probably take periods for granted, but they are important. They create pauses. Use them wisely to end your sentence with some OOMPH!

Let's zoom straight to Stephen Wilber's analogy on flying an airplane: "As you take off, you should be concentrating on getting off the ground. Once aloft, you should be thinking about where to land." (MTC, p 147)

He's talking about sentence construction and the need to trim wordiness "so that the emphasis falls where it does the most good." Just like with airplanes, it matters where a sentence lands. In most cases it should end with the most important word or thought to place the focus right where you want it to be.

Chapter 27 gives some great examples of how to trim sentence endings, you should totally check it out. Here's an obvious one for effect: "So, don't let your sentences ramble on and on past the point where they really should stop, if you catch my drift." (MTC, p 147) Can you reduce this sentence to 6 words?

So, don't let your sentences, and blog posts, ramble. That means my work here is done!

But first a hint: When your editor says trim a thousand bajillion words from your manuscript, sentence endings are a great place to look.

WEEK 24 DELIGHT YOUR READER WITH THE CLASSIC SETUP

PARALLEL STRUCTURE by Valerie Ipson

Here's an exercise to illustrate this week's lesson (adapted from Mastering the Craft by Stephen Wilbers, p 134):

Match the first part of the following famous two-part quotes with the second part (answers below):

FIRST PART:
A. Writing a novel is like driving a car at night.
B. To be a novelist or short story writer,
C. The literary gift is a mere accident--
D. There are three rules for writing a novel.

SECOND PART:
1. you have to first pretend to be a novelist or short story writer. (Charles Baxter)
2. Unfortunately, nobody knows what they are. (W. Somerset Maugham)
3. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. (E.L. Doctrow)
4. [it] is as often bestowed upon idiots who have nothing to say worth hearing as it is denied to strenuous sages. (Max Beerbohm)

You've just had a lesson in parallel structure. It's like a one-two punch which, admittedly, is not that pleasant if you're on the receiving end, but when it's found in literature (or great quotes) it's very appealing and satisfying. As Wilbers says, "The first sentence makes a statement; the second sentence undercuts it. It's the ironic twist that surprises the reader and makes the quip memorable."

This kind of structure can be used in our fiction from description to dialogue. Look for it in your manuscript or find places where you can add it for a surprising punch.


ANSWERS:  A-3, B-1, C-4, D-2

Mastering the Craft of Writing

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away a copy of the book that inspired the blog...

Mastering the Craft of Writing.

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Week 2 Write with Detail

Write With Detail
by Peggy

As writers, we hear all the time, "Show, don't tell." For a lot of us, we have a difficult time grasping what that really means. (Or maybe it was just me that had this problem.)

Mr. Wilbers gives great examples of this. "Next time you write, ...'My boss really liked my report,' don't stop there." Go on to give details: "[I]n last Tuesday's staff meeting George held up [my] report on quality control, taped each of its five pages to the whiteboard, uncapped a yellow felt-tipped marker, and drew a big star on each page."1

You don't even have to state that your boss liked your report. You just showed it. When we revise, we can look for opportunities to add detail, to give our stories dimension and bring our readers in.

Writing with detail isn't just about adding information. Think about Week One and the importance of words and using the right words for the right effect. Use strong verbs when adding detail.

Consider: "News of our bosses departure affected all of us."

Before scrolling down, think how you can improve that sentence.

Here's mine: Whispers flew from desk to desk. 'Did you hear?' 'What will we do?' Delores, the beehived-receptionist with special shoes, sniffled into her box of Kleenex. The ever-cheerful guy in maintenance patted her on the back as he sneaked a tissue.

Here's one from the book: "When our boss announced he was leaving, we stomped our feet, pounded the table with our fists, and raised our voices in a chorus of unbridled joy and celebration."2



1. Mastering the Craft of Writing, pg 10.

2. Mastering the Craft of Writing, pg 12.


TAMARA: Details, details. Maybe the devil is in them because he knows that’s where all the important (juicy) tidbits are…

I’ll give it a go:

#1

“He listened to me, but I didn’t feel heard.”

How about this?

“He listened to me while he checked his phone for messages. He even reclined a bit further in his chair like he was settling in for a nap. No eye contact, not even a nod of his head. No wonder he doesn’t remember what I say.”

#2

“She picked up her backpack and left. My life went with her.”

“She picked up her Jan Sport, the one we shared through 11^th grade; the one we used to write one-word messages to each other on the inside, with a purple sharpie marker. My life went with her.

Week 1 Listen to Your Language

Use Your Ears Before You Write
by Tamara

The premise for this exercise is that listening makes us better writers. Paying attention to individual words and how we say them, knowing the verbal power of a word and using it accordingly, can have an impact, for better or worse, on the reader.

Exercise: Playing around with titles. Changing words to hear the effect on sound and meaning.

Jane Austen’s Persuasion as How Do You Like Me Now?

Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe as Wilfred*

*This is actually the first name of the book’s heroic lead “Wilfred of Ivanhoe.” Something about the three syllables makes it so much more interesting, would you agree?

Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter as The Crimson Letter

Suzanne Collins’ Catching Fire as Catching Heat

I do wonder when it comes to well-known titles if changing them up ‘sounds’ dissonant because of how accustomed we are to hearing them. But clearly, the right word in the right place can make all the difference. Just ask Ivanhoe.

*

Nice sounding words (to me)

auspicious  adj. 1. attended by favorable circumstances 2. marked by success

rhymes with delicious, what’s not to like?

myopia noun 1. nearsightedness, lack of imagination, foresight, or intellectual insight.

Basically, I’m afraid of this—lacking imagination and foresight—but I still love the sound of this word. If it didn’t have such a negative definition, I might have chosen it as a name for a child. Then I would have had to homeschool.

euphonious adj 1. (of sound, especially speech) pleasing to the ear

I don’t actually like the sound of this word, I just thought it was apropos for the exercise ;)

*

What is one of your favorite sounding words? 

Play with a title and see how it changes the meaning and emotion, share your example.

VALERIE: I love the word epiphany. That could totally have been one of your children's names. :)

PEGGY: One of my favorites is laborious. I just think it's fun to say and no one expects it. 

VALERIE: Not to belabor the point, but note to Tamara: Don't name your child Laborious, even if it was an especially difficult labor.

PEGGY: Child named Epiphany = laborious explanations
how about: LaBeau Ruiz or E. Piffany as pen names...