WEEK 18 KEEP YOUR VERBS NEAR THEIR SUBJECTS

by Valerie Ipson

There's a simple equation for today's lesson: "Distance determines effort. The longer the distance between subject and verb, the harder your reader must work." MTC 1 italics added

You're right, the lesson is kind of a no-brainer. Readers won't get the meaning of your sentence until they make a subject-verb connection. They want/need to know who is doing something and what they're doing. Throw in all the fluff and puff you want (within reason), but it's the subject/verb that gives the meat...gives you something to sink your teeth into. [I could type out some very, extremely-lengthy examples, but I won't. Check out mastering the Craft's Lesson 18 and you'll find some.]

But as with any writing rule, RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN! EVEN THIS ONE! Consider that sometimes an INTENTIONAL delay works because it creates emphasis. Example: "The tall, skinny man, who had just polished off three double cheeseburgers, two large fries, and a super-sized soda, ordered another round." MTC 2

That's a whole lot of fast-food calories in between man and ordered, but the sentence works.

MTC, 1: p.97
MTC 2: p. 98

Tamara: And I thought I was the only one that included food pictures in my posts. I have no idea why this analogy popped into my head as I read your post, but I thought of couples ice skating in the Olympics, where they have strict rules about how far away from each other they can be. Maybe I need to start thinking of my verbs and subjects that way. Except for the allowable, dramatic moves of course!

WEEK 15 KNOW WHEN TO VERB YOUR NOUNS

BY VALERIE IPSON

Read the title of this post again.

Have you ever seen the word "verb" actually used as a verb? 

A verb is a noun!

Well, this is not your high school English class, kids. Strap yourselves in and hang on, we're about to verb us some nouns and it's going to be a fun ride.

Last week Peggy talked about the danger of wordiness (and guys hiding in trees) when writers turn their verbs into nouns [She made a recommendation... versus She recommended...], but when you switch and go the other way, the results can make for some strong writing.

We actually do it all the time...as an example, Stephen Wilbers quotes Richard Nordquist's post at grammar.about.com: "In a single work day, we might head a task force, eye an opportunity, nose around for good ideas, mouth a greeting, elbow an opponent, strong-arm a colleague, shoulder the blame, stomach a loss, and finally hand in our resignation." (1)

These are all pretty commonplace examples, but it's when we get creative that the fun begins..."the roof...hinged open," "ducks winged through the island," "sailboats breezed along." (2)

I love this tip from Wilbers: "In each case the verb is made from a noun associated (or...loosely associated) with the object. These associated objects are a good place to look for nouns that might be verbed into action." (3)

So the walleye finned instead of swam, the tulips stemmed instead of grew...you get the idea. Look for them in your own writing. I bet you have some. And I also bet there are a lot of sentences that can be made stronger by using this fun technique.

(1) MTC, p. 80
(2) MTC, p. 80-81
(3) MTC, p. 83

And check out the new book in our line-up!!! 

Congratulations, Tamara on your new nonfiction release: 

Mothering Through the Whirlwind.

Week 13 Strong Verbs

Use Strong Verbs to Drive Your Sentences

by Tamara

"The verb is the engine that drives the sentence." 1

I don't have to be a grease monkey to know that engine means power. Power to move, power to transport. If that is what we want to do with our writing, our stories--transport our readers--then we need to pay attention to the engine. Once I think of verbs as my engine, I look at my writing in a different light. And what a difference a strong verb can make.

For example:

"The tracks made  a line in the snow." or "The tracks cut a line in the snow." 2

Which one lacks horsepower? Which one has more thrust? 'Cut a line in the snow' provides that visual punch, doesn't it?

Wilbers suggests a simple way to check your writing style: "Take a paragraph of your writing at random, and underline your verbs." Then ask, "Are they doing their job? Are they adding color and power to my writing?"3

1. Mastering the Craft, p. 70

2. Mastering the Craft, p. 70

3. Mastering the Craft, p. 72

PEGGY: Here is a paragraph from my WIP:

Rogan’s stomach sank. He’d made too many mistakes lately, but surely they wouldn’t send him beyond. The longer Abe paused the higher Rogan’s anxiety went.

Here is how I changed it this morning:

Rogan's stomach clenched. He'd made a colossal mistake, but surely they wouldn't send him beyond. Abe paused. Rogan's chest refused to expand and his anxiety skyrocketed.

Which do you like better? 

VALERIE: I love a strong verb. It really does make all the difference.